10 strategies the narcissist uses to escape responsibility and alter your as well as community perception

In this video post I talk about 10 strategies the narcissist uses to escape obvious obligations. There are more strategies than just this one, but I will address those in a different video. I wanted to stick to the example of alimentation to discuss 10 primary strategies and the creation of a web of confusion, …

The day you know you are healing

It took me a while.  6 long years. Of continuously questioning my gut, my insights into my situation of being in a relationship with a person with NPD.

When I feel unsure: did I all dream this up? am I the narcissist? is he ok after all?

All of us who have experienced narcissistic abuse go through massive self-doubt. This is especially the case when we have been experiencing gas lighting. Intermittent reinforcement - or love bombing amidst ongoing abuse - may have us wonder whether our "guy" or "girl" may really "not be that bad". When our family and friends don't …

No salvation (why the narcissist always wins)

It took me a while to understand the saying that the narcissist always wins. Yet, I experienced the sort of "being in a cage"-like feeling that comes with experiencing this over and over again. Here's what I came to see as to why that is.   You get upset or enraged - awesome for the …

The reasons we disconnect from our social base (during and after narcissistic abuse)

One typical strategy in narcissistic abuse is isolation. Victims are isolated from friends and family and thereby lose touch with "normalcy" as we know it. Our focus on the nuclear family makes that there are few people who see what is going on in our homes. This plays in favor of the narcissist who creates beautiful …

Coparenting with a narcissist? GET REAL!

For years now, I receive people in my private practice. People who have questions about parenting and who want to engage in a process of understanding themselves better to be more present with their children. People who end up with a narcissist are often “better than average” parents. They often are highly sensitive, have a …

But who is the narcissist?

I am sure that many people who hear stories of narcissistic abuse don't know what's what. Or, for that matter, who's who. The stories seem so unreal. Could it be true? Isn't it a bad sign that someone is calling somebody else a narcissist? Isn't that a sign of narcissism too? It seems so much …

Beyond codependency: the REAL reason you are with a narcissist

When you are moving through the turmoil of figuring out what on earth is happening in your relationship and to you - it can be a scary ride. You will often wonder (as is typical when you are being gaslighted) whether it is in fact all you - making this entire craze up. Whether it …

Why is it so hard for the narcissist to change?

Narcissists can always and easily move on to the "next victim". Moreover, the narcissism is rarely recognized as such, socially and publicly.

A wolf in sheep’s clothing

When I was recovering from a relationship with narcissistic abuse, for the first time I understood there are indeed wolves in sheep's clothing. They are hard to spot. They act so "normal". And yet, they are so - oh so - dangerous.