Why didn’t you just say something/leave?

  1. I wanted to protect my children by avoiding the added trauma of more fights, more nastiness, of needing to be long stretches of time with someone who simply cannot take care of them.
  2. I realized over time that my life was not inherently meaningful to my partner with NPD. And that he had an image of self to keep up. If I would break that image? I often felt tremendous fear at the realization that I didn’t know what would happen next – if I would challenge the sense of self the world had of him.
  3. It is tremendously hard to see the web you are in when you are being gaslighted and lied to. When your abuser has such beautiful lyrics.
  4. The person with NPD will exemplify just enough positive behavior to have one doubt one’s sanity. Pep talk maybe.
  5. Most people in relationships with a person with NPD will first question their own mental health. They have a hard time and little support to place what is happening. And are trying to survive moment to moment.


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