I read it so often on social media: we are all becoming more and more narcissistic – thinking about ourselves only, taking selfies, spending time scrutinizing our portraits on Facebook, etcetera. While it is certainly true that we are spending less and less time with each other in real life and that we are “grooming” social profiles, what bothers me about reading this is the following:

Narcissistic personality disorder CANNOT be equated to people’s social lives shrinking or them chasing individual goals over collective ones (however undesirable that may be). Narcissistic personality disorder is a condition that is rooted in severe childhood wounding that causes a person not to be able to experience or feel guilt or regret (although they may trick you into thinking they feel these emotions), not to be able to have any responsible relationship with the inner world of an other, to be manipulative and self-serving to an extreme degree.

The difference is this:

What we see as a cultural phenomenon is that top layers of society are crumbling. We do not have the societal tissue we used to.

What we see in narcissistic personality disorder is that the ROOTS of our personality structure that foster genuine social interaction and care are not – or not fully – formed.

With the personality basis intact, a lot of good stuff can happen (again). Of course – the breakdown of our societal “web” also has as an effect that more and more children are facing too many unnecessary stressors and challenges in childhood that will in turn affect their (future) ability to be empathic.

The basis for guilt and a genuine desire to see and meet the needs of other not being there – many of us just can’t fathom this is possible… – which often leads to self-deception in people who are in relationships with people with narcissistic personality disorder and their families and peers.

This website wants to give information from the perspective of experience, although frequently references to research will be made. I invite you to browse through the blog page, like our Facebook page or to contact me.